I would welcome some advice please on something close to my heart.
After reading the “Step Too Far?” thread, and receiving a PM it made me realise that what happened to my boy wasn’t an isolated incident. I’ve started a separate thread, rather than deflect the other thread, so please forgive the selective copy and paste. Eg:
My boy has just gone up to Uni last September and decided not to join the University Rugby team simply because he didn’t want to go through the humiliating initiation ceremony. This is a boy who has played rugby since he was 4, has played U11 and U15 District rugby, played for the school and the Youth team of the local rugby club - ending up playing alongside 4 team mates who are now in the Wales U19 squad in 2 consecutive Welsh Youth Cup finals at the Millennium Stadium. Ie, he's "pretty handy". This isn’t some kid who couldn’t be bothered; this is a committed 6’ 3” intelligent outgoing boy who has trained twice a week for the last 15 years .... and his involvement with rugby couldn’t have stopped any faster if he’d run into a brick wall.
At first I was just sad and quietly hoped that the urge to play again would return in time, but 5 months on and his boots are still in his room, alongside his lovingly ironed kit. I really hope he doesn't jack in rugby for life, but what can I do? He’s 19 so I can't tell him to play, and at 6’ 3” I sure as hell can’t make him play.
My boys initiation ceremony would have involved running around the pitch naked and downing a few tinnies on the way. The initiation ceremony I was told about via PM was a lot worse – I won’t repeat it without consent, but with consent I’d happily tell you what was involved in glorious non-sugar coated technicolour. Sugar coating these “ceremonies” does us no favours at all, and I reckon we have an obligation to “tell it like it is” if we are to face up to what is IMO a serious problem.
Frankly I would like to meet up (face to face – not by telephone or via e-mail) with someone in authority at my boys Uni, and make it crystal clear that I’m not happy. But frankly this is probably a national issue not just a Taff household issue, as it must be happening in other families year in year out. If this has happened to my boy, nationwide how may other good rugby / netball / hockey / football players have already ditched their favourite sport because of a humiliating or painful or terrifying initiation ceremony, and how many will in future? As may dad used to say “Someone needs their arse booted”.
Any other examples or advice on how to approach this would be really appreciated. You can PM me if you don’t want to post it on a public forum. Thanks
After reading the “Step Too Far?” thread, and receiving a PM it made me realise that what happened to my boy wasn’t an isolated incident. I’ve started a separate thread, rather than deflect the other thread, so please forgive the selective copy and paste. Eg:
… My friends talented son has declined to play for his university 1st xv, because he does not want to undergo the disgusting initiation test that accompanies his selection!
I know a daughter of a friend who played good level netball (county? or whatever they have in netball?) at school, but won't join her uni netball club for similar reasons.
.. Ive never come across these initiation rituals over here .. but played for my brothers club (guest appearance) and he warned me after the game that a ritual may take place. To me it was disgusting and perverted .…If that was my potential new club, I would have avoided them for that alone.
Evening of my University 1st XV debut I was carried from Hawks Club to Magdalen Bridge and thrown into the Cam. … The College 1st XV was much nastier involving a bumper of port, naked run around the Prioress Quadrangle, and locked bar door on return.
My boy has just gone up to Uni last September and decided not to join the University Rugby team simply because he didn’t want to go through the humiliating initiation ceremony. This is a boy who has played rugby since he was 4, has played U11 and U15 District rugby, played for the school and the Youth team of the local rugby club - ending up playing alongside 4 team mates who are now in the Wales U19 squad in 2 consecutive Welsh Youth Cup finals at the Millennium Stadium. Ie, he's "pretty handy". This isn’t some kid who couldn’t be bothered; this is a committed 6’ 3” intelligent outgoing boy who has trained twice a week for the last 15 years .... and his involvement with rugby couldn’t have stopped any faster if he’d run into a brick wall.
At first I was just sad and quietly hoped that the urge to play again would return in time, but 5 months on and his boots are still in his room, alongside his lovingly ironed kit. I really hope he doesn't jack in rugby for life, but what can I do? He’s 19 so I can't tell him to play, and at 6’ 3” I sure as hell can’t make him play.
My boys initiation ceremony would have involved running around the pitch naked and downing a few tinnies on the way. The initiation ceremony I was told about via PM was a lot worse – I won’t repeat it without consent, but with consent I’d happily tell you what was involved in glorious non-sugar coated technicolour. Sugar coating these “ceremonies” does us no favours at all, and I reckon we have an obligation to “tell it like it is” if we are to face up to what is IMO a serious problem.
Frankly I would like to meet up (face to face – not by telephone or via e-mail) with someone in authority at my boys Uni, and make it crystal clear that I’m not happy. But frankly this is probably a national issue not just a Taff household issue, as it must be happening in other families year in year out. If this has happened to my boy, nationwide how may other good rugby / netball / hockey / football players have already ditched their favourite sport because of a humiliating or painful or terrifying initiation ceremony, and how many will in future? As may dad used to say “Someone needs their arse booted”.
Any other examples or advice on how to approach this would be really appreciated. You can PM me if you don’t want to post it on a public forum. Thanks
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