This is a separate posting, the words are similar, but not copied. I am merely aproaching the same problem from two directions at the same time-if you can turn that into and Actress/Bishop joke please let me know.
IF this is a penalty offence, it is my first, so a yellow card would not be likely.
"Phli hope to ghloodness phlat phlwas your phumb, and phlat you're appwoaching the prophlem phrom two dipherent diwections at phe same time!" as the actress said to the bishop. "opherwise, tell your cuwate to phwait his turn!"
By the way, and apropos the debate on casting nasturtiums:
The venerable bishop of Birmingham
Seduced young girls while confirming 'em
As they knelt on the hassock
He lifted his cassock
And stuck his episcopal worm in 'em
For the benefit of our American pals, it only works if you don't insist on pronouncing the HAM in Birmingum