What are a players’ list of expectations from a referee? If they are prioritised then embarrassing a player would come lower in the list than being a cheat, allowing unsafe behaviour, not knowing the laws and how to apply them equitably and consistently, not understanding the context of the game and the nature of play. Embarrassing and humiliating a player ideally shouldn’t happen but these generally are forgivable by players while the former probably aren’t if they give the wrong result and cost the players financially as well as status. Luckily NO is better at achieving the former list than most.
The players know what they are going to get when they know that NO has been appointed. They perhaps expect the occasional ‘quip’ just as they perhaps expect him to be accurate and fair. Every referee if he is known to players/teams comes with a ‘package’ and this applies at community level as well as international. If a team/teams or players had real issues with a ref then the people appointing would receive the message and that referee would not be appointed. Judging by the number of appointments NO has had at various levels and in the numerous competitions I would suggest that there haven’t been many complaints.
I know that some players even at the level I refereed weren’t particularly happy to see me turn up but thankfully from the feedback I got and the appointments I had, the vast majority were very happy with the ‘package’ I brought to the game. What you get away with as a ref depends on the respect that players have for you. NO has earned respect so can get away with an approach that others without the necessary respect couldn’t. What a referee mustn’t do is copy another referee’s approach if they haven’t got the personality or the respect of players. I personally played up to being a ‘self deprecating miserable sod’ which seemed to allow me to get in the odd bit of humiliating banter with players.
