An interesting, but not at all surprising read. The prematch chat goes out the window once you've refereed the same teams again and again, and the same players again and again. In particular at the pro level, where they (the teams) know more about you than you do about you! You're developing a relationship (albeit a professional one) over time with these players, who are doing it for their livelihood.
My view is at the pro-level where it's the same referees again and again, refereeing the same teams again and again, there's a rapport built-up that now allows things "outside the realm of the refereeing mantra" to be used to help better-manage a game.
That being said, the positive re-enforcement is simply not on in the professional arena. It gives the perception that they're "off the hook". If it's going to happen, it's going to happen during major downtime or into the halftime tunnel when the last 10 minutes have been without incident after a barrage of PKs and cards in the 1st half. Otherwise, at their level, I'd shy away from it, whereas in the weeds I think it's appropriate.
I think that at the top level, referees are aware of whether their communication channel is one of the following:
1. Parent > Child
2. Adult > Adult
BOTH are effective managment tools, but both have to be used under the correct context for them to be effective. Before the game, the "discussion" from Joel Jutdge is very much a Parent > Child discussion with RoG, Stringer, and Quinny. Now, come game time, it could be a lot different. During downtime, Quinny raises an issue with Joel, to which he replies "OK Quinny, I'll have a look, but you need to calm down". Totally different outcome.
Playing the referee, from a players' perspective, helps a lot when they dont act as a petulant Child, but treat the referees as adults.
I could go on for ages about effective communication and the roles of referees in various circumstances based on their desired outcomes, but I'll leave it there. I'm glad I posted here in something worthwhile. There's a thread out there somewhere that needs to die a quick death.