Hi, I only started ref'ing last season as no one else volunteered and I'm the only female ref in our whole club. I've really tried to swot up on all the (v confusing) rules but at a recent away festival when the match organisers allocated me to ref two teams (neither was my own ) both of the coaches on both sides gave me a pretty tough deal. Now I'm not a shrinking violet but I also know I have to learn. How officious are you generally. I was told on my courses that keeping the game flowing was important at this stage, to only really penalise deliberate foul play or dangerous play and to just tell the kids off and help them out with the rules at this stage, this did not go down well with the two coaches at all and I nearly threw down my whistle and walked off (which would have been childish I know). How officious are you all, what are the most important rules to concentrate on and how do you deal with horrid coaches who give you a hard time and parents who will shout at you but not get off their bums and volunteer?