Grass roots teams usually don't have the luxury of assembling a team to suit a style of play. It's most often the other way around, they play to what they have. When the referee of the day has a predetermined idea of how rugby should be played then that bias can find its way into the game.
Grass-roots teams usually don't have the luxury of the fittest or fastest referees, either. Grass-roots referees too have to make do with what they have. Although sadly many grass-roots referees are afraid to leave their home club, even these tend to be perceived as "too strict" by their "own" players (the visitors may beg to differ).
As you may or may not know, I believe the respect for the referee that is normal in rugby and so woefully lacking in soccer is "how rugby should be played". The referee in turn has three duties. In order of priority these are (1) ensuring safety, (2) having empathy for both sides, in an impartial manner, and (3) running around and occasionally whistling.
Unfortunately, not all players, let alone spectators, understand that the lower the level of rugby, the more important that the referee not necessarily whistle for every (perceived) offence. Instead, the referee has to manage the game - remember that word - and although individuals (i.e. scum-halves*) may try to get into a referees ear, my experience is that the team that talks most doesn't benefit.
As a former front row player, the only time I was ever upset at a referees decision was when the scrum collapsed with the ball "almost out". Fortunately this was in a friendly between two teams I played for, and admittedly the referee was very inexperienced.
Anyway, to start to come to a conclusion related to the original topic of this thread, front rows standing up tends to be a safety valve. I find it hard to see "who stood up first", and I played each position in the front row for 5 or more seasons. My minimal expectation is for a referee to whistle immediately if a scrum pops up, and faster than that if it collapses.
Obviously I prefer it when a referee is consistently near enough play to see what is going on (yet not in the way), both audible and visible enough to communicate advantage (and end thereof) to both sets of players as well as the spectators, but we can't all be George Clancy.