Medal Presentation at Cup Final

[Donal1988]

Hi everyone I refereed a cup match last week. A rant more than a question. Score was Blue 17-0 White. White coach was muttering to the team after the game that they were better team, that ref (me) didn't help them and was favouring the other team etc.

White were presented with silver medals and Blue with their winners medals. They had 3 medals left over and their coach and captain approach me and my TJs (appointed from society). He said he felt we deserved some recognition for a good game.

I thanked him but said it wouldn't be proper for me to accept a winners medal. Both of my assistants took them though. White coach got extremely angry about the gesture saying it proved I favoured the other team. Blue coach approached me and said he was apalled and embarassed at "throwing a gesture publically back in his face".

 

[Davet]

White coach got extremely angry about the gesture saying it proved I favoured the other team.

In public?

Personally I'd have asked for an immediate and equally public withdrawal of that remark - or he wouild be getting a letter from my solicitor.

Probably not the approved Society response, but then again it would either be that or a boot up his arse - which would doubtless get me into even more hot water...

 

[Wert Twacky]

My take would be this:

Losing coach mutters after game about your performance... so long as it's not abuse, so what... he's a losing coach and therefore will look to blame someone else and pass the monkey. Worry not your young head over it. His issue, not yours.

Blue coach wants to show some token appreciation after the game for you and your ARs' efforts... great! White coach got (to quote you) "extremely angry" about it - how angry. Again, if abusive report it, if not, he needs to go get a life... eejit.

Blue coach says he's "appalled" by you not accepting the gesture? Slight over-reaction on his part I feel, unless you stood on the rooftop of the club and publicy denounced it to all of Eire!

Personally, if it was me I would have accepted it given the intention to which it was offered and not given a fly-ing toss what a losing coach thinks as it was a cup final and, in many cases, tokens of appreciation to the officials are often given out.

Dare I say it, over-reaction by all, including you maybe?

 

[OB..]

No doubt well-intentioned, but a diplomatic gaffe by the Blue coach (unless he really did want to wind up to White coach :biggrin: ). If you could quietly decline for all of you, I think you should do so, but if your TJs accept, I think you have to follow suit.

We duck that possibility by giving an award to the officials first, before the teams.

 

[Phil E]

Personally I'd have asked for an immediate and equally public withdrawal of that remark - or he wouild be getting a letter from my solicitor.

Your solicitor must be on a permanent retainer :biggrin:

 

[andyscott]

White coach was muttering to the team after the game that they were better team, that ref (me) didn't help them and was favouring the other team etc.

A quick word in his shell, err you lost cause you were shit and with your attitude I am surprised you got this far.

Please dont comment to your team about me, I think you're a knob but I don't tell my team.

Just make sure no one here's you

 

[FlipFlop]

If you were worried about the appearances, perhaps you could have "managed" it.

My suggestion: A quick word to the Blue coach, saying thank you, but you don't want to accept it now, as you worry about the reaction from the White coach, but you appreciate it, and if you (and your TO3) could come back and claim it later, it would be deeply appreciated.

this would a) placate the Blue Coach - you verbalise your appreciation, and accept the medal; b) you are not publicly seen as taking their medal; c) you place the blame on someone else for not publicly taking it; d) White coach can't accuse you of anything else....

 

[Phil E]

If you were worried about the appearances, perhaps you could have "managed" it.

My suggestion: A quick word to the Blue coach, saying thank you, but you don't want to accept it now, as you worry about the reaction from the White coach, but you appreciate it, and if you (and your TO3) could come back and claim it later, it would be deeply appreciated.

this would a) placate the Blue Coach - you verbalise your appreciation, and accept the medal; b) you are not publicly seen as taking their medal; c) you place the blame on someone else for not publicly taking it; d) White coach can't accuse you of anything else....

Hindsight.

It's a wonderful thing. I don't think any of us would have expected the reaction that came from the blue coach.

 

[Lee Lifeson-Peart]

It's one of those things that you'll know what to do if it happens again.:hap:

As Phil E says the reaction of the blue coach is strange especially as you say you thanked him and gave him an explanation as to why you declined the offer. White coach just sounds like a 24ct cock.

The teams you get (and their coaches) sound very immature (I guess you're still doing 16-20 year olds).

Flip-Flop's advice is spot on albeit 7 days too late. :biggrin:

 

[Taff]

I'm one of those "if you haven't earn't it ... you don't wear it" types; so a "winners" medal would be a nice (but wasted) gesture on me at least because the TO3 weren't "winners". I suspect the OP feels the same way.

I've had one Final as AR - and was unexpectedly presented with a very nice WRU tie - you can't go wrong with a tie. I was just chuffed to be asked, and certainly didn't expect anything for it. A "winners" medal wouldn't have felt right even if both coaches were happy with it.

Just a thought Donal, but did you by any chance ref the White team at all on their way to the Final? If you had, it undermines their coaches comments even more. He does come across as a bit of a knob, but perhaps a lot of things were said in the heat of the moment.

 

[Davet]

Your solicitor must be on a permanent retainer :biggrin:

Phil - you got me... yes a little toungue in cheek - but only a little.

If a coach made very public a nd loud comments that I as a ref was biased against him and his team then I would be extremely angry, and would certainly demand an immediate and eauqlly public apology.

If none such was forthcoming then, "my options would be limited".

 

[Casey Bee]

If none such was forthcoming then, "my options would be limited".

:nono: :nono: :nono:

"If this happens again then unless there is a very strong reason against I will put the lawyer on to it!"

 

[Davet]

Well done, Kevin - glad to see you're paying attention

 

[Donal1988]

White coaches comments didn't amount to referee abuse. Just looking for someone to blame. I was amazed by reactions from both coaches to be honest and just having a rant about it. I hadn't refereed at this age level this year (U16) as I'm usually doing U19, U21 and 3rd XVs. As I mentioned on another thread I had forgotten the level of management required at this level

I wasn't particularly worried about anyones reaction in taking a medal. The penalty count was in whites favour and I yellow carded Blue. I just didn't like for a winning coach to hand a winning medal to the referee. My exact reply was "Thank you and congratulations on the win. However I don't feel that would be appropriate.

My 2 ARs are new to refereeing and this was their first final.