Winning (and losing) graciously

Phil E

Phil E


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dave_clark


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sometimes it's necessary to be a bad winner. for example, many years ago my youth team (U15s or thereabouts) lost a game to Westcliff by about 50 points. mid way through the first half, their coach (who was also reffing) started making their goal kicker do press ups if he missed a conversion (which their obnoxious parents thought was a marvellous wheeze).

fast forward to the return fixture a few months later at our place, and we thumped them 64-7 i think (we had got 3 new players, who ended up playing for the county and pushing for L&SE selection). in that instance it was absolutely necessary to be overly smug about the win, and to rub the opposition coaches and parents noses in it (especially as it took their coach 45 minutes to calm down and to come into the clubhouse after the game).

in general though i agree with the concept, (and did apologise to my players after the above incident - they all agreed that as a one off it was entirely appropriate :biggrin:)
 
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Davet

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In my experience home players at grass roots inevitably form a tunnel through which their away opponets walk through, and who then form their own tunnel for the home side - the ref also walks through, usually following the away team - applause and handshakes are exchanged.

I'd like to see that at all levels upto and including Internationals.

I think public graciousness in defeat and victory is simply normal courtesy.

I think that once in the dressing room then losers need to be told why they lost and why this is unacceptable, winners may also need a few home truths from coaches about reasons for victory, and what they could have done to score more/concede less.

Internally no team should EVER be satisfied with their performance. Celebrate a win, sure - but understand what you need to do to keep winning. If a coach says to a team "well lads, you did your best, never mind" he simply sets them up for deafeat next week. If he says "OK lads, you did your best, now we need tyo wotk out how to improve your best" then he is IMO on the better track.
 
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RugbyGeek


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the best personal example I can think of was during the county championships for u12's least year.

I was running the final and disallowed a try that would have resulted in the match being a draw - in the last seconds of the game (the ball was held up). They played on and lost the ball to a knock-on after the ensuing scrum....match over.

Parents on the sidelines were going ballistic (as they do :wink: ), but ALL credit to the boys - NOT A SINGLE WORD WAS SAID IN DISSENT.

After the match I went to thank them for allowing me to blow the game, as I always do, and although they were clearly upset by the loss, they made a point of thanking me for blowing the game.

They lost a final, and still managed to humble me by their behaviour.

I'd suggest that it is moments like these that make us blow for one more week when at times we just want to give it all away....
 
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Taff


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Davet said:
In my experience home players at grass roots inevitably form a tunnel through which their away opponets walk through, and who then form their own tunnel for the home side - the ref also walks through, usually following the away team - applause and handshakes are exchanged. I'd like to see that at all levels upto and including Internationals.
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Exactly. I couldn't agree more about international teams doing it too - that would be a great example to the younsters. The only difference here is that the winning team form the 1st tunnel, then after they've been clapped through, the losing team form the next tunnel. I always thought it odd that the winning side was expected to clap the losers first :chin: but I think by doing it this was the winners always get to the hot showers first. :D

RugbyGeek said:
.... After the match I went to thank them for allowing me to blow the game ....
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What an unfortunate phrase RugbyGeek. :wow:

In this area, if you say you've "blown a game" it means you've balls it up. :D
 
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RugbyGeek


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Taff said:
What an unfortunate phrase. :wow:

In this area, if you say you've "blown a game" it means you've balls it up.:D
Click to expand...

...in this instance, they might feel it an appropriate phrase :cool:
 
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Davet

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"Thanks for letting me blow the game"

"Sir, we couldn't have stopped you."
 
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dave_clark said:
in that instance it was absolutely necessary to be overly smug about the win, and to rub the opposition coaches and parents noses in it (especially as it took their coach 45 minutes to calm down and to come into the clubhouse after the game).
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I could not agree with you less! In such incidents it is even more vital to be a gracious winner. How else will others learn other than by a good example. A bad winner is no better than any other bad winner.
 
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Davet

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I would add one caveat though, learning to lose graciously still involves learning to lose....
 
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