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One of the hardest jobs an assessor has is to tell a mature ref that he is making mistakes through not reading the game correctly and that perhaps a game at a lower level would be more suited. Writing that report is equally difficult. I am not sure that we get the training to handle it - easy to forget that this is, for most, a voluntary sport activity which we do for fun!
Mike - watch this space on report writing and de-brief techniques for just these issues. As you say telling someone they are no longer up to it is tough, hard enough in business, but to a dedicated volunteer in sport even more difficult.