Just some time wasters for you that hit my email box today....(aust public just can't let it go either)
Classic cricket sledging
1. Rod Marsh and Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match,
Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: “So how’s your
wife and my kids?”
2. Daryll Cullinan and Shane Warne:As Cullinan was on his way to the
wicket, Warne told him he had Been waiting 2 years for another chance to
humiliate him. “Looks like you spent it eating,” Cullinan retorted.
3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo
Brands): “Hey Eddo, why are you so F(_)ckng Fat?” Eddo Brands: “Because
everytime I F(_)ck your wife, she throws me a biscuit”
4. Robin Smith and Merv Hughes
uring 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to
Smith after he played and missed:”You can’t f(_)cking bat”. Smith to
Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: “Hey Merv, we make a fine
pair. I can’t f (_)cking bat and you can’t f(_)cking bowl.”
5. Merv Hughes and Javed Miandad
uring 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called
Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed:
“Tickets please”, Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
6. Merv Hughes and Viv Richards
uring a test match in the West Indies,
Hughes didn’t say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after
deliveries. “This is my island, my culture. Don’t you be staring at me.
In my culture we just bowl.” Merv didn’t reply, but after he dismissed
him he announced to the batsman: “In my culture we just say f(_)ck off.”
7. And of course you can’t forget Ian Healy’s legendary comment which
was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called
for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in
Sydney… “You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat
cuunnt!!!”
8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was
greeted by Mark Waugh……. MW : “F(_)k me, look who it is. Mate, what are
you doing out here, there’s no way you’re good enough to play for
England” JO : “Maybe not, but at least i’m the best player in my family”
9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: “So what does Brian Lara’s dick taste like?”
Sarwan: “I don’t know. Ask your wife.” McGrath (losing it): “If you ever
F(_)cking mention my wife again, I’ll F(_)cking rip your Fxxking
throat out.”
10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore)
comes to the crease playing and missing the first ball. Mark - “Ohh, I
remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were shit then,
you’re f (_)cking useless now”. Parore- (Turning around) “Yeah, that’s
me and when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl(_)t
and now I hear you’ve married her. You dumb cuuntt”.
11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan
batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the
batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character
to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up,
“Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it.”
12. Ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man, Shastri hits it to this guy
and looks for a single…this guy gets the ball in and says “if you leave
the crease i’ll break your f(_)cking head” Shastri: “if you could bat as
well as you can talk you wouldn’t be the f(_)cking 12th man”
13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed
a couple of times. Marshall : “Now David, Are you going to get out now
or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?”
14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first
slip,and right between Raman Subba Row’s legs. Fred doesn’t say a word.
At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises
sheepishly. “I should’ve kept my legs together, Fred”. “So should your
mother” he replied
