what's the best comment you've heard on the pitch.

[evilad]

I was wondering if anyone has heard a funny comment whilst playing/reffing that has calmed down a situation, or just made you smile?
The best one i read about was a front row forward, sat on the bench, was sledging the ref ( we have all done it!). the ref came and sat down neaxt to him, saying that the bench was the best position for him to be, as you could obviously see everything that was happening, and by the way could you please blow the whistle for me as well? cue one very embarrased prop who kepy quiet for the rest of the game.

 

[Davet]

Young lad, about 19 had obviously been on the end of a punch, and I had missed it. As he stood there withy the light of murder in his eyes , and me getting ready for trouble, an old prop on his side went up to him and simply said -If they're punching you then your playing well, they wouldn't bother if you weren't getting right up their noses.

Instant change of attitude from youngster, light in eyes became that of pride, and no more trouble.

 

[madref]

Hi

Ladies match, girls scrum is not very stable please can we sort it out.

Prop turns round to hooker, Helen open you legs it will be more to stabilise the scrum, you have no problems on Friday or Saturday night why not make it 3 in a row. She says I would but ref is a bit old for me.

All of us in histerics!

David

 

[Deeps]

I have told this before but...

After a bludy game the previous week I was determined to get it right from the outset and, with history between that day's opponents, I briefed one entire team as to all the skulduggery I would not put up with. After blasting them unfairly for a couple of minutes I paused for breath when a wise old prop turned and said 'You'll be wanting an amnesty on knives too then ref?'

Hysterics all round and we had no trouble at all.

 

[didds]

pernickity ref at 5m scrummage sodding around, taking yonks to get the packs DEAD straight, hookers DEAD over the mark blah blah blah. Much of it done whilst packs are engaged (this was early 1980s!) . The pressure in the front rows was immense... sweat pouring off 6 faces, most of us drooling with effort, shoulders, legs and glutes screaming.

After what seemed like several minutes of all this our tight head said (god knows where he got the breath from!)

"shall we have a cup of tea ref?"

collapse of both pakcs in laughter.

Ref penalised him for ungentlemanly conduct!!!!

didds

 

[SimonSmith]

Hampshire Constabulary.
Called the miscreant over for a bollocking about the punch he had just landed. "Sorry ref, he fell down the stairs."
Couldn't deliver said admonishment from giggling too much.

 

[ExHookah]

I played for the Hampshire Police once. I was a student at Southampton and we had a match arranged against them. For whatever reason the police turned up with only 13 players and asked for some volunteers. It was very interesting to listen to the pre match chat and the chat in the huddle, with all of these coppers talking about smacking around the "bloody students". Made me quite glad I was playing with these guys instead of against them!

I also managed to "acquire" my match jersey that afternoon and was hailed as a hero by my scavenging student teammates.

 

[shingy]

best rugby comments!!!!

Doing an International Schoolboy tournament a few years ago and a coach on the side line yelled out to the referee " Drop your pants and use your good eye ref"

 

[Bryan]

Hey Ref, get off your knees, you're blowing the game.
---
Ref: Get back ten, 1 Green
Green 1: Feck sake ref, are you blind?
Ref: What was that?
Green 1: Oh, don't tell me you're deaf as well!?
---

 

[stuart3826]

I think it was Spreaders who said to an offside forward who was retiring with hands in the air "Your surrender is accepted, but you're still offside"

I have been asked "How long left Ref?" as the teams lined up for kick off. My reply - "Quite a long time"