Increasing lack of respect?

[TheBFG]

Yes, but did you chase them to shake hands? :=

He wasn't there to shake hands with, both had RC's :wink:

Just stood by the tunnel (as is the norm!)

 

[TheBFG]

did he have a head injury (genitalia nomenclature aside) ?

didds

Nope, he was hit mid chest! What I should of done of course was say that he had to leave the field as he had such a "bad head injury by the way he was rolling on the floor" :wink:

 

[leaguerefaus]

All the referees who are hellbent on getting a handshake off every single player, maybe you should make a RC'd player shake your hand as you pull the card from your pocket. Just a thought

 

[crossref]

All the referees who are hellbent on getting a handshake off every single player,

are there any of those?
most players come and shake my hand, but if any didn't I wouldn't notice.
(I'd notice if the captain didn't)

 

[TheBFG]

All the referees who are hellbent on getting a handshake off every single player, maybe you should make a RC'd player shake your hand as you pull the card from your pocket. Just a thought

One did offer at the time of the RC, but of course I refused :nono:

 

[SmeejDad]

On the hand shakes thing - I take them if they come but don't go looking for them. Some times I get some, sometimes I get none. I always shake the hand of each captain in the bar afterwards as I'm leaving however, I think that's a must.

Regarding a lack of respect towards officials... it's my first season refereeing but I must say some of the difficulty I've had as a referee I never saw put upon other referees in my playing days. I red carded and filed an RFU Match Official Abuse report against one player this season for approaching me after the final whistle and screaming some choice words aggressively in my face. He got a 12 week ban. I think it will happen from time to time and as long as you are confident you are making fair and well informed decisions, and, that it is reported and dealt with each time then you can't go far wrong. As a young referee I think perhaps i'm a little more susceptible to it... I don't think those 'old heads' in the tight 5 much like getting pinged by a 27 year old!

The only other thing I'd say is - amid a few difficult instances involving disrespectful players/coaches/supporters - it has been humbling to travel round the rugby community in Bristol and experience each clubs individual rugby culture. 99.9% of everyone I come into contact with is a real pleasure... so I think the good far outweighs the bad on this one.

SD

 

[Paule23]

All the referees who are hellbent on getting a handshake off every single player, maybe you should make a RC'd player shake your hand as you pull the card from your pocket. Just a thought

My original post was never about wanting to shake hands with everyone, there will always be some players who forget, or are in a huff and walk away. My point was about intentional, team decisions not to shake my hand, where no one from the team, coaches included, comes over.

on a positive note, I refereed one of the sides I had problems with recently, and although they lost again they were much more polite this time, shook my hand and even had a brief chat in the bar. My winning personality is obviously slowly taking effect!

 

[Gracie]

Hi Paule23 - as a ref of a fair few years long standing in your society happy to give you my insights on ref/team positive behaviours that I hope help. Early in the post, you asked if societies have platforms where ref/coaches get together. Actually we do both at pre and end of season, but in truth coach attendance has been poor and it is something I'll raise with our President. We have also tried to engage with coaches to enhance relationships - this link to our website is a pointer of our message http://www.westrefs.com/club-call/4579619753 (sorry not sure how to add it as a link!). Personally, I have always made myself available to go to clubs to help coach on areas of play that are letting the team down (distance allowing) just the offer helps. In reality, many of us are ex players/coaches and we will get many of our future refs from the clubs we referee - it is mutual beneficial for us to get on.


End of match procedure for me is simple; I seek out the coaches en route to the tunnel for a shake of hands and then join the tunnel before following the teams through. I know this next past is easy to say, but maybe harder to do, but at the end of the game I am always positive and use positive assertive body language - strong eye contact, smile and am confident in the decisions i made. I minimise the players a chance to be disrespectful. Any back chat (and it happens) is dealt with positively; personally I like the line 'of course I'ma sh*t referee, if I was any good do you think I'd be reffing you?!"

We all have bad games and even in being positive I am not averse to admitting that post game; "i take your point, from a different angle it may have been a try, but I can only ref what I can see"; it seems to go down well and take the sting out of the moment. Finally, do feedback to your coaching teams your unhappiness, we do monitor any problem teams and take a dim view on a lack of hospitality/respect and you will get good support from the coaches and the old farts like me.

Our next meeting is on Feb 1st, (details on our website) come along and lets get your views out in the open. Whistle up!

 

[shnipvanwinkel]

It;s part of the ethos of our game. So you make the appointment officer and other referees aware. You report the "welcome" to your society and should referees chose collectively or individually to boycott that team / club, so be it. Of course, you could just sit back and wait until it gets out of hand and then we can have lots of hand ringing when some poor begger gets the result.

Do any Societies have meetings or a forum for coaches in their area, where referees and coaches (or team officials) meet? This might be an idea as an education piece. An opportunity on a regular basis to re-emphasis referees are volunteers, are human and deserve at least respect for what they do. Recurring themes could be discussed from both sides. I am too junior to know if this happens and is just not shared, or if it has not been thought of.

I know logistics, organisation and apathy could be an issue, but is it a good idea?

Sorry to act as a thread necromancer, but these two posts very succinctly assess the situation that has occurred in a *RU where SWIM referees. I am sad to report that it absolutely does escalate from simply refusing to shake hands, to poor behaviour on the pitch, to poor behaviour by players, fans and even coaches/club officials post match, including threatening behaviour towards referees and public written statements bringing the game into disrepute.

In my case, I always try and take it up with the player after they have calmed down. If they continue to stand their ground, I'll talk to their skipper or coach and team officials, then raise it to the society and finally to the union. In the union in question there are very few referees, so if enough refuse to go to the club in question then they really start to have a problem. This is one of the most effective tools we have.

Paule23, this is exactly the solution that we are implementing on a trial basis. What it absolutely should not be allowed to become is a free for all where the refs are slammed by the coaches and clubs for perceived slights. Education = good, whining = bad.

 

[OB..]

We used to have an early season meeting with club coaches and captains, but it was poorly attended by them, and petered out.

We currently have a scheme whereby an active referee is paired with each club (as far as possible), but the effectiveness is patchy, as you would expect. It requires both sides to want to communicate.

Some years ago I persuaded the RFU to provide, as an experiment, a free ELRA course for our 1st XV. The players then decided they didn't want to know.