Ref Dissent?

[Norfolk_Ref]

End of the game. I blow the whistle and end the game due to a forward pass from team A. The player who received the forward pass, wasn't happy as he thought it was fine.

I started to shake hands with all players and the afore mentioned player started to shake my hand looked up at me and threw my hand away in anger.

I spoke to captain, who then made his feelings clear to his player who gave me a very limp apology. I did accept it and went home.

The more I think about it the less happy I am about it.

What would you all have done?

Lewis

 

[Norfolk_Ref]

the title should be 'ref abuse?'

Sorry

 

[crossref]

It's not compulsory to shake your hand. If he didn't actually say anything then I would let it go.

 

[Norfolk_Ref]

It was the throwing my hand away after starting to shake it. I just though it was disrespectful and not in spirit of the game?

 

[Browner]

It was the throwing my hand away after starting to shake it. I just though it was disrespectful and not in spirit of the game?

I'd Issue him a RC, let him explain to the midweek discipline blazers why he thinks that's acceptable. If he doesn't want to shake hands that's his perogative not all players do - no big deal but him throwing away you hand is unacceptable. What happens next week if the society referee is a teenager ! Thin end of the wedge for me.

 

[Ciaran Trainor]

I would probably have let it go and talked to the club blazers afterwards but as others have said thin end of the wedge.
I had a couple of incidents yesterday with dickhead spectators who I dispatched to the club house.
Apologies were made and accepted after the game but we have a policy of at least emailing the chairman and secretary of the society who will "have a word" if they see fit.
It could be happening every week unless these "minor" incidents are reported.

 

[Dixie]

Petulant, petty and disagreeable. Certainly not in the spirit of the game. But I don't think I would have made anything more of it than it was - a childish gesture by an immature individual. But if you had reported it as abuse, Norfolk_Ref I don't think many on here would dispute your right to do so. However, if he acted surprised, pointed out he'd shaken your hand and needed to release it quickly to move on to another player, you could be struggling to prove that there was a case to answer.

I think on balance your initial judgement was correct - voice your displeasure to the managers, but let it go.

 

[Browner]

I would probably have let it go and talked to the club blazers afterwards but as others have said thin end of the wedge.
I had a couple of incidents yesterday with dickhead spectators who I dispatched to the club house.
Apologies were made and accepted after the game but we have a policy of at least emailing the chairman and secretary of the society who will "have a word" if they see fit.
It could be happening every week unless these "minor" incidents are reported.

23-23 Looks like a cracker of a Game.

 

[Lee Lifeson-Peart]

I hand a player refuse to shake my hand once - I posted about it on here.

I said "suit yourself" and thought "you 24ct cock".

Mentioned to the blazers in the club and he'd gone off home with the tit on - so I ate his pie and peas.

 

[Browner]

However, if he acted surprised, pointed out he'd shaken your hand and needed to release it quickly to move on to another player, you could be struggling to prove that there was a case to answer.

I think his captains 'word' and the players limp apology mean that even he'd struggle to now claim such.

The next week when he gives the ref an aggressive handshake or a twist/bend of the wrist, or he stands on your foot 'accidentally', or turns to talk to a teammate and accidentally catches you with an elbow then what? .... no guys, not for me .... the whistle's gone the game has ended = zero tolerance - learn some respect young man & learn quickly !

 

[4eyesbetter]

Mentioned to the blazers in the club and he'd gone off home with the tit on - so I ate his pie and peas.

This is possibly the most Yorkshire thing I've ever read, cheers for that. I pity any poor sod who can't hear exactly the voice that's saying this.

 

[Dixie]

This is possibly the most Yorkshire thing I've ever read, cheers for that. I pity any poor sod who can't hear exactly the voice that's saying this.

Agreed - but mainly because it means they're completely unaware of:

I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
FIRST YORKSHIREMAN:
And you try and tell the young people of today that ..... they won't believe you.

 

[Drift]

I hand a player refuse to shake my hand once - I posted about it on here.

I said "suit yourself" and thought "you 24ct cock".

Mentioned to the blazers in the club and he'd gone off home with the tit on - so I ate his pie and peas.

Why did he refuse to shake your hand? That says that you offered it first, can I ask why?

 

[Lee Lifeson-Peart]

Why did he refuse to shake your hand? That says that you offered it first, can I ask why?

Dunno!

I always have done as player and referee. I know some have said they get their stuff and bugger off. No handshakes, no tunnels no nothing. I can't recall if not shaking hands was an Antipodean thing or not?

I consider it a common courtesy and a usual convention round these parts - a bit like riding round the country in homemade armour terrorising the locals is/was round you.

 

[crossref]

normally after my games I shake a lot of hands, I am sure we all do.

I make sure I shake the captains' hands, but the other players I let them come to me. I wouldn't normally notice (or care) whether any particualr player had shook hands with me or not. Indeed I don't count them, but I'd be surprised if I ever do 36 handshakes...

 

[Lee Lifeson-Peart]

normally after my games I shake a lot of hands, I am sure we all do.

I make sure I shake the captains' hands, but the other players I let them come to me. I wouldn't normally notice (or care) whether any particualr player had shook hands with me or not. Indeed I don't count them, but I'd be surprised if I ever do 36 handshakes...

I shake hands with those that want to.

There is some sort of ritual whereby those that approach you or vice versa make eye contact and a handshake is "on the cards".

I don't chase after people saying "please please shake hands with me".

The first and only time I offered my hand and it was refused was with a "I'm not shaking your hand. You're a disgrace" ie the case above.. My initial thoughts were "I may be a disgrace but at least I can tackle, you t**t!"

Perhaps if I hadn't been stood right in front of him when I blew for full time it'd never have arisen as an issue. It was probably full time because he had just knocked on!! (again) :biggrin:

His loss. They lost 76-7 and he was shit! :biggrin:

 

[Simon Thomas]

Thinking back to my playing days 1975-1999 at all the different levels I usually would shake hands with my oppo #9 or 10, maybe the flankers and #8, and perhaps one or two other oppo I might know from school, uni or representative squads or a few years of fixtures. Even down the tunnel I might slap the occasional back but no big handshakes thing.
I was usually very worked up by a final whistle being a highly competitive player (and half back), with an anti-social personality, so I used to want my own space to wind down not a load of handshaking etc. I would often jog away to do a physical warm down and use that for relaxing and thinking time to analyse the match.

However if skipper I would seek out the ref and tjs to thank them and handshakes, and if necessary stick with the team after a good win or poor performance if leadership was needed.

 

[John3822]

I went to a presentation a couple of weeks ago given by Wayne Barnes, entitled "Throwing petrol on the fire". Basically he was saying that sometime we referees are the architects of our own downfall when it comes to player dissent, by not recognising when further input is not only unnecessary but also inflammatory.
The following Saturday, Red v Black, level 9 merit game, 2nd team level. Red LH prop starts to lose it, couple of questioning of decisions and general 'chuntering' under his breath. Trying to hit in tackles and rucks, etc, as hard as possible.
Black then attack and Red LH tackles black player about 3m from Red goal-line, and then lays there preventing quick ball for Black.
Arm goes out indicating penalty and identify Red 1 as responsible, ball does eventually come out but no advantage accrues.
Whistle penalty to Black, then time off to speak to Red 1. He knows what's coming and from about 10m away says, "Right I'm off, " and starts to walk off behind the posts. I'm just about to call him back to administer the yellow card, when the wise words of WB came back to me. So I just showed the card and told the Red captain what it was for, then we went back for the penalty.
Red LH had 10 minutes to calm down and on his return I acknowledged his return with a nod, and we got on with game. Good as gold after that.
I do know that prior to WB's presentation, I would, in all likelihood, have called Red LH back and precipitated a totally unnecessary confrontation.

 

[Drift]

Dunno!

I always have done as player and referee. I know some have said they get their stuff and bugger off. No handshakes, no tunnels no nothing. I can't recall if not shaking hands was an Antipodean thing or not?

I consider it a common courtesy and a usual convention round these parts - a bit like riding round the country in homemade armour terrorising the locals is/was round you.

Fair enough. I generally make sure I sign the books, shake the coaches hands as they usually come over and then have my shower. After that I will chat with the captains in the clubhouse and make sure to thank them for their work if they helped out. Other than that I don't go looking for a handshake from players, but I wouldn't ever turn one down.

I just couldn't imagine going around to every player to shake their hands TBH.

 

[Account Deleted]

Tunnel always formed I walk down it after the away side and then through their tunnel. Never had a player not shake hands.