Ian you are entitled to your opinions, based on a series video replays, but I disagree with both your interpretation of the event and views on WB's post incident management of the player separation, AR consultation and players' dismissals.
In real time from the comfort of may armchair, I saw the same as WB and what appeared to be punches by Tuilagi), plus I saw Ashton with his hands and arms head high on Tuilangi when he made the initial tackle. On the replays it then became obvious he had grasped his hair too - and Citing Officer Mike Rafter saw the same (a man I respect as an ex-England open side and highly experienced player from the days of much more on-pitch skullduggery - he gave me a good shoeing in the Bristol v Quins match in 1979 !).
WB is a full time experienced professional referee and had a good view of the incident at pitch level after the intial 10.4 offence by Ashton, which he was unsighted for.
Perhaps the Disciplinary Panel (who will have the same video evidence s well as the match officials reports) will decide Tuilangi sending off sufficient, although I doubt it.
As for Ashton - Red Card offence all the way, and if seen by WB pretty sure he would have not hesitated. I think his AR let him down and should have been focused on the contact area and so seen the hair pull.